Where DIY meets WTF

I consider myself a crafty girl. Proud owner of my own craft table, but not always the best to finish projects (currently I have three uncompleted). AND I just spent my last lonely wife night wandering around Michael's until they threatened to kick me out over the loud speaker.

I purchased supplies for two more projects! But these I really need to finish...they are surprises for girl's weekend! And because a few of my massive blog following are recipients, they will be shielded in protection.

But anyways...this blog has to be one of the funniest things I have seen recently. Well, except the toddlers recreation of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.



Which reminds me...is that a boy playing the part of Caroline?

Regretsy always finds those WTF crafts and leave you wondering who buys this crap?!?!?

This is one of my favorites, part weird project, part funny commentary.

"Initially this was a request, but I could not help to make more! Can be made for any breed of dog, large or small. You can also choose to have Cream or Chocolate colored boobs, with Pink or Tan nipples."

The strangest part of this listing, well besides the massive boobies that poor dog is sporting, is the fact that someone requested this!

Hmmm...maybe I should rethink the scarves I am making for my favorite girls...

Bad Luck comes in 3's

Yuck, Yuck, and double Yuck.

The past few days have not been the "best." It's probably because I had the most amazing weekend with Reema and Sarah leading up to our big girl's weekend. We kicked off the night with dinner at Courtside Thai.


The food is amazing, the atmosphere is perfect, and the owners are some of the friendliest I have ever met. It's kind of weird how much of a difference it makes if the owners are personable and actually seem like they are happy you are there. And I know this might sound bad...but have you ever noticed how certain Asian restaurants really seem like they don't like you and could care less for your patronage. Don't get me wrong, I would drink Lampu's white sauce by the bottle, but getting a drink refill is harder than winning more than a free ticket on a scratch-off.

All I will say about the remaining of the evening is that it involved tasting our way through the Virginian wine country, eating chef Boyardee, the longest and I mean longest story ever, and waking up the next morning realizing I wasn't alone in my bed....scandalous I know! But what happens on girl's weekend stays with girl's weekend.

Saturday we spent way to much at my mother's Disney, Wegmans and laid by the pool all day. And Sunday's shopping trip made me realize just how difficult it is to spend a gift certificate at anywhere besides J.Crew.

Now the bad news,

In the past three days the following has happened...

Someone thought it would be a great idea to steal my front license plate, I most certainly have gained all flat belly weight back, AND I chipped my front tooth!!

My car will no longer be known as the official Gator Bug of Virginia. My most creative plate of GTR BUG is more than likely hanging in someones sports room or garage. Boo!

Ah, my former flat belly is more like a "I am stretching it plenty for my cruise" belly. At least that's what I am telling myself. Midnight Buffet anyone?

And to top it off I CHIPPED MY TOOTH. Well, it's not exactly my tooth, it's a bond...but still. I look more West Virginia housewife than Virginia. We don't have a dentist here, so I am seriously considering trying to pop into Dr. Flach's office in Mount Dora before I leave for my cruise. Fingers crossed he is on our insurance. And I know we don't leave for another week and how could my vain self handle it. It's not that bad. Seriously no one noticed until I made them look. I guess I should have rethought that garlic pasta before having them all up in my grill.

So, away with the bad luck and bring on the good. No, not just good. How about amazing! Maybe I will wake up in the morning, my boobs suddenly bigger, my stomach flatter, and my husband home! I girl can dream...

Hmmm...So we may need to get Showtime

Sooo excited! And it looks like this season is going to be more fun and less drama. What do you think?




Lot's of updates on the home front. Reema's visit leading up to our big girl's weekend, cleaning out my closet, AND the tale of the stolen license plate (karma's a bitch).

To be continued...

Everything is coming up daisies

Highly productive day...I can now call myself a gardener! It only took multiple trips to Home Depot. Seriously, by the end of the day, the guy at the returns desk knew me by name. You see, I returned the original plants I purchased in exchange for these beauties.

These are just a few. The first pot has green bell peppers, banana peppers, and pimento. I planted the second planter with a particular color scheme in mind. Notice anything?

Even our yard gnome has a home!

We have owned the metal planters since our stay in Denver, and sadly it only held plants for the record setting rate I killed a pair of ficus trees. Hopefully I will have better success the second time around. After all I did my homework. I read that if pots and planters don't have a drainage hole, it could lead to root rot. So what would any domestic goddess do, I drove myself to Home Depot. I marched right up to an associate and told him what I needed, while all of the "men" inside the store congregated discussing the best possible solution to their problems. I had my purchase in under 5 minutes. The funny thing is I saw one group cave after I grabbed mine and ask for help too!

First, I knew Michael had a drill somewhere. Second, I bought a special drill bit. And Voila! I strapped on a pair of safety goggles (Michael aren't you proud!) and drilled my own holes into the planters! No root rot for this green thumb!

I am also working on this cool little project...


I'll share the finished product tomorrow!

Time for a Change?

What do you think? Too blonde? I am ready to make my appointment. But I wonder is it just as blonde as I was here?

No, I guess not. But this may be a little more work than I want. Normally I just get my hair highlighted, but this might need to be a complete (gulp) dye job. Ouch that could be really high maintenance. My haircut is already pretty similar, just need to grow it out a bit. One more look....

What do you think?

Flexing my green thumb

Sorry it's a little fuzzy, blame it on the iPhone and humidity

Check out that haul! I decided over the weekend to spruce up our back patio. So off I went to Home Depot armed with a loose idea...but little did I know how little the employees there could help. So I put the top down on the car, stretched a blanket out in the back and left with some plants.

And then I saw Cox Farms market and just had to stop in. It was amazing! All plants were 40% off except for these beautiful hanging baskets I picked up...but guess how much I got them for?

$6.99!!

And I don't think the picture really gives an idea of the scale of these beauties...they are huge!

Now, I just need to make sure that I don't go from a green thumb to more of a black widow and keep it all alive.

Transporting all of these out of my car, up a flight of stairs and putting it out back led me to believe I didn't need to workout today. Which was much needed. I started Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred back up yesterday, and EVERY SINGLE muscle in my body aches. It's quite sad that one 30 minute workout made me yelp this morning to turn off the alarm. But it didn't stop me from hitting snooze 5 times! No pain, no gain right...all in the quest for a few more Z's.

After all, being the domestic goddess that I am, all of this gardening, cooking Fried Green Tomato BLT's, and working out...I really need my beauty sleep.

And the jumpstart ends with a crash

If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want?...It simply wants to run away.

Or if it's me...I would go running in the opposite direction.

I am happy to announce I made it through four day period known as the "jump-start" in the Flat Belly Diet. Well I almost made it...until I thought about eating turkey again and I just couldn't do it. So after work I hightailed it to Wegmans and bought real food. Sushi, dumplings, hummus, and yes a little bit of turkey. But this time I will be eating it with bread and miracle whip (see, I learned a little bit, no mayo). I also have grand plans for the most amazing BLT for dinner tomorrow night. How does this sound: toasted bread, thick slices of bacon from the meat counter, a goat cheese spread, and then the cherry on top...a great big fried green tomato. Oh yeah...I've fallen off the flat belly wagon hard.



In total I lost 3.2lbs and just about 2 inches around the largest part of my belly. So I essentially lost water weight. Which I am kind of okay with. My ultimate goal is 10lbs. (well in my dream world it's 15lbs.). The best thing to come out of this diet is I really enjoyed the Sassy Water. As odd as it sounds, I have never really enjoyed the "taste" of water. To me water is used for bathing and swimming, not drinking. But the Sassy Water was really refreshing and I am actually going to continue drinking it. I went from maybe drinking one of those little sample cups a day to over 2 liters!

From now on, I am going to try and eat these smaller 400 calorie meals, BUT if I fall off the wagon and "suddenly" find myself in the McDonald's drive-thru...no guilt here. I just going to work out to compensate.

Starting tomorrow I am popping in the workout DVD. Michael and I really got into great shape from Jillian's 30-day Shred, so good-bye flat belly book (it's due back to the library anyways), hello the loving encouragement of Jillian.

I guess she is the lesser of two evils. I will just keep repeating this mantra to get through...no more low-sodium turkey....no more low sodium turkey.

So raise your glass of Sassy Water and repeat after me..."McDonald's is not evil." I'm sure you can get at least a daily recommended vegetable serving. Come on, it's got onions and lettuce and I'm sure there is something lurking in that special sauce.

Day 1 down only 3 more to go!

I am counting the hours down until this little experiment of mine is done. And I have been pretty successful sticking to it.

Breakfast wasn't that bad at all. Loved the pineapple and the cream of wheat wasn't too bad...after I added honey to sweeten it. But I figured it was okay because I skipped the cup of fat-free milk. I did my homework! Well, actually I just googled it, but the milk has more calories than the honey. Paired with 1/4 cup of sunflower seeds and my glass of Sassy Water and I was actually quite full.

Lunch was nothing special and strangely filling: turkey, grape tomatoes with balsamic vinegar, string cheese and more Sassy Water.

Dinner is the hardest part of this whole diet. 1 cup Green beans and 1/2 roasted potatoes (tossed with olive oil and oregano) are great, but the protein not so much. I thought I would mix it up by not repeating the turkey and have tuna fish instead. Word to the wise, tuna fish should only be enjoyed with mayo and mustard, both of which are not remotely on my diet. I guess I need to get over my aversion to chicken (unless fried and also not on the diet)!

The Sassy Water is probably the best part of this diet. It's refreshing and the perfect compliment to the record setting heat we have in NOVA. Just in case anyone is curious here's the recipe:

2 liters of water (about 8 1/2 cups)
1 medium cucumber (peeled and thinly sliced)
1 lemon (thinly sliced)
12 medium sized mint leaves
1 teaspoon of fresh grated ginger

You should make all of this the night prior to drinking so the ingredients have a chance to "meld."

So, like any good scientist I made it a point to weigh myself and measure my pudgy belly. It will be a cold day in hell before I share those numbers. I am really curious how this is all going to turn out at the end of the four days. But the oddest thing happened to me today. I had intense cravings for REALLY bad for me food. As I left my pedicure the exit was next door to the Cheesecake Factory. I wanted more than anything to stop in and eat dinner and desert. And if that wasn't bad enough, the drive home I went by a Silver Diner and couldn't stop thinking about pancakes (which I don't really like).

Ugh, I guess I will just have another glass of Sassy Water...

All it takes is a little bit of sass...

As Lindsay Lohan heads off to jail, I am joining in solidarity and detoxing.


Well actually Lindsay has nothing to do with it, but we'll see if this diet leads me to drink.

Even though I first made fun of the flat belly diet (see prior post) and originally picked it up hoping for a few great fatty, butter filled recipes, I am giving it a chance.

I figure it will give me at least four more days to put off exercising.

Tomorrow kicks off the "Four-Day Anti-Bloat Jumpstart." For the next few days I will be eating 4 times a day, 4 hours apart, and spend 4 dollars at McDonald's after this is all over...forget the McDonald's part.

The diet promises that following a 1200 calorie-a-day diet (1600 after the first four days) will rid my body of body bloat and feel great at the same time!! I'm not holding my breath, but giving it a chance.

So, $90 later I am ready to beat the bloat! It's pretty strict, but nothing could be too bad with the fantastic option of "Sassy Water." That's right I get to drink 2-liters of the flamboyantly titled cocktail each day. Just four days of this water and fresh ginger, cucumber, lemon, mint blend and I will no longer have the urge to reach for such belly bloaters as soda and tea. Yeah, I am not holding my breath on that either. But anyways, I will keep you apprised of my progress.

On the agenda tomorrow...a tasty breakfast of cream of wheat, fat-free milk, fruit, sunflower seeds and "Sassy Water." Lunch: sodium-free turkey, string cheese, green beans, and Sassy Water. For a snack, a smoothie that doesn't sound that bad. It's dinner that's kind of got me. More turkey, grape tomatoes, red potatoes and more Sassy Water.



So raise your glass of Sassy Water (or in Linday's case a shot of tequila)...here's to day one!

Fat Belly to FLAT Belly

Ugh, I have let myself go. And it started so innocently...

I got swept off my feet, worked my butt off to fit into this dress for the wedding...

*no stomach sucking in needed

Felt great in a bathing suit on our honeymoon, and then...

I discovered my metabolism is no longer what it was, the joy of butter (and more butter, thanks Julia) and domestic bliss.

BUT I am not happy with my current weight/shape. I had to go to the doctor's earlier this week for a sinus infection and was shocked at the number (won't be sharing that number) that popped up on the scale. So, I am picking up my butt off the couch and getting to work. I randomly picked up this book from the library.

Love the use of the cheerful yellow background with cupcakes, like dieting is soooo much fun!

Now to be completely honest...at first glance I thought the book read FAT belly cookbook, so what's a butter loving girl to do, I picked it up. HUGE sign I have not been eating healthy. The plan is to give this diet a shot leading up to my big girl's weekend at the end of the month, while also dusting off my copy of the 30-day Shred. Wish me luck!

BUT FIRST...

I am making these brownies for the 4th of July.

Smore Brownies by Joy the Baker

Honestly, you can't expect me to head to the lake house surrounded by great food and drink and not indulge...that's just wrong.